Upon my completed reading of Chandler Morrison’s latest novel, American Narcissus, I found myself reflecting. What could I say that hasn’t been said? How can I convey the underlying sense of hilarity, beauteous dread, and horror of the angst-infused hell Chandler iconically put me through? I was at a loss for words for the first time in a while. Well, not really, but you get it.
I went to get a 30-minute facial at Glowbar about it and continued pondering.
As the dead skin cells were razored from my face, I thought about how Autumn Christian had already written her expertly haunting article about it.
It was really good.
While my pores were lasered into non-existence, my thoughts kept going back to what was so alluring about the book. All of Chandler’s work for that matter. Yes, the prose. Yes, the horror of life. Yes, human existence is a mistake and a curse. But as I repurchased my toner, updated my face wash, and renewed my retinol prescription it finally clicked.
There’s one element about Chandler’s work that we all know we can’t get enough of. It’s what keeps you coming back for more. What’s that saying about art imitating life? Because this is that.
Bad Girls.
As a society, we embrace Bad Girls. We slander them. We love them, we hate them. But one thing is certain, we’re addicted to them.
Bad Girls are super fun. Last-minute decisions, crazy antics. No filters. Hot outfits. The best hair and makeup. Quick comebacks. Getting in fights. Confident opinions. It’s all enough to make you believe that she’s perfect. She’s strong and independent. You can’t bullshit her.
But for all of the light you might feel in the presence of a Bad Girl, the initial thrill that you’ve been noticed by one, there is always the dark side of the moon. What lurks underneath the beauty and confidence? A Bad Girl doesn’t let just anyone see the ugly side. Only if you’re worthy of the trouble…until you aren’t. You’ll never know for sure, but you do know there is something that sets you on edge. It’s an edge you’ll never leap from yourself. It’s one you’ll stand on… until a Bad Girl pushes you off.
Why go through the inevitable? The initial climb, the ascension towards chaos? I have the answer, obviously, though you might not want to hear it. They transcend time. They last. They survive. No one makes it in this day and age by being a pushover, a weakling. And men always want a Bad Girl to latch onto, to make them feel something, even if by the end you’re thrown into a free fall, or married to one.
There’s good news and bad news with all of this. I’ll start with the bad: most of you will never get the chance to talk to Bad Girl, let alone fall in love with one. You’re just not cut out for it, and maybe in the end you’re lucky.
The good news is that you do have American Narcissus, and that’s the closest you’ll ever get to the rise toward salvation…and the quick descent into darkness. The aftermath of feeling something.
It’s a Bad Girl’s world, and you’re just living in it. For now.